°Quizz Kid°

from the "Too Old To Rock'n'Roll; Too Young To Die!" album

(The old Rocker wore his hair too long
Wore his trouser cuffs too tight
Unfashionable to the end drank his ale too light
Death's head belt buckle yesterday's dreams
The transport cafe prophet of doom
Ringing no change
In his double-sewn seams
In his post-war-babe gloom...)

Cut along the dotted line slip in
And seal the flap
Postal competition crazy
Though you wear the dunce's cap
Win a fortnight in Ibiza
Line up for the big hand out
You'll never know unless
You try what winning's all about
Be a quizz kid
Be a whizz kid

Six days later there's a rush telegram
Drop everything and telephone this number if you can
It's a free trip down to London
For a weekend of high life
They'll wine you
Dine you
Undermine you
Better not bring the wife
Be a quizz kid
Be a whizz kid

It's a try out for a quizz show
That millions watch each week
Following the fate and fortunes
Of contestants as they speak
Answerable to everyone
Responsible to all
Publicity dissected
Brain cells splattered
On the walls of encyclopaedic knowledge
May be barbaric
But it's fun
As the clock ticks away a lifetime
Hold your head up to the gun of a million cathode ray tubes
Aimed at your tiny skull
May you find sweet inspiration
May your memory not be dull
May you rise to dizzy success
May your wit be quick and strong
May you constantly amaze us
May your answers not be wrong
May your head be on your shoulders
May your tongue be in your cheek
And most of all we pray
That you may come back next week!
Be a quizz kid
Be a whizz kid

Ian Anderson, grandnephew

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